The Invisible Wall
和丈夫堕入爱河那一刻，我们正坐在旧公寓的客厅里，眼前的白色长窗帘垂落在落地窗前。我们边聊天，边细呷着滚烫的黑咖啡。我们可以就一直这么坐着聊天——有时候可以聊到第二天太阳升起。当时我对他魂牵梦绕，如痴如醉，为自己能够找到一生的至爱而激动不已。结婚那天是我一生中最快乐的日子。
I first fell in love with husband when we would sit and talk in the living room of my old apartment in front of the (ceiling-to-floor) windows with the long, white curtains, drinking cups of scalding, black coffee. We would just sit and talk-sometimes until sunrise. I was so completely thrilled to have finally found that one special person and our wedding way was the happiest day of my life.
However, it was not long after our honeymoon when my husband climbed into the tomb called "the office" and wrapped his mind in a shroud of paperwork and buried himself in clients, and I said nothing for fear of turning into a nagging wife. It seemed as if overnight an invisible wall had been erected between us.
When our daughter, Desiree was born she quickly became the center of my world. I watched her grow from infant to toddler, and I no longer seemed to care that my husband was getting busier and spending less time at home. Somewhere between his work schedule and our home and young daughter, we were losing touch with each other. That invisible wall was now being cemented by the mortar of indifference.
Desiree went off to preschool and I returned to college to finish my degree, and I tried to find myself in the courses I took; I complained with all the other young women on campus
Then tragedy struck our lives, when my husband's younger brother was killed on September 11, 2001, along with thousand of other innocent people. He made it out okay and spoke to his wife to say he was going back in to help those that were still trapped. He was identified only by the engraving on the inside of his wedding band. 
Attending my brother's memorial service was an eye-opening experience for the both of us. For the first time, we saw our own marriage was almost like my in-laws. At the tragic death of the youngest son they could not reach out console one another. It seemed as if somewhere between the oldest son's first tooth and the youngest son's graduation they had lost each other. Their wedding day photograph of the young, happy, smiling couple on the mantle of their fireplace was almost mocking those two minds that no longer touched. They were living in such an invisible wall between them that the heaviest battering with the strongest artillery would not penetrate, when love dies it is not in a moment of angry battle or when fiery bodies lose their heat; it lies broken and panting and exhausted at the bottom of a wall it cannot penetrate.
Recently one night, my husband told of his fear of dying. Until then he had been afraid to expose his naked souls. I spoke of trying to find myself in the writings in my journal. It seemed as if each of us had been hiding our soul-searching from the other.
We are slowly working toward building a bridge—not a wall, so that when we reach out to each other, we do not find a barrier we cannot penetrate and recoil from the coldness of the stone or retreat from the stranger on the other side.
相关单词：honeymoon
honeymoon解释：n.蜜月（假期）；vi.度蜜月
honeymoon例句：
While on honeymoon in Bali,she learned to scuba dive.她在巴厘岛度蜜月时学会了带水肺潜水。
The happy pair are leaving for their honeymoon.这幸福的一对就要去度蜜月了。
相关单词：shroud
shroud解释：n.裹尸布，寿衣；罩，幕；vt.覆盖，隐藏
shroud例句：
His past was enveloped in a shroud of mystery.他的过去被裹上一层神秘色彩。
How can I do under shroud of a dark sky?在黑暗的天空的笼罩下，我该怎么做呢？
相关单词：nagging
nagging解释：adj.唠叨的，挑剔的；使人不得安宁的v.不断地挑剔或批评（某人）( nag的现在分词 )；不断地烦扰或伤害（某人）；无休止地抱怨；不断指责
nagging例句：
Stop nagging—I'll do it as soon as I can. 别唠叨了—我会尽快做的。
I've got a nagging pain in my lower back. 我后背下方老是疼。 来自《简明英汉词典》
相关单词：ERECTED
ERECTED解释：adj. 直立的，竖立的，笔直的 vt. 使 ... 直立，建立
ERECTED例句：
A monument to him was erected in St Paul's Cathedral. 在圣保罗大教堂为他修了一座纪念碑。
A monument was erected to the memory of that great scientist. 树立了一块纪念碑纪念那位伟大的科学家。
相关单词：mortar
mortar解释：n.灰浆，灰泥；迫击炮；v.把…用灰浆涂接合
mortar例句：
The mason flushed the joint with mortar.泥工用灰浆把接缝处嵌平。
The sound of mortar fire seemed to be closing in.迫击炮的吼声似乎正在逼近。
相关单词：indifference
indifference解释：n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎
indifference例句：
I was disappointed by his indifference more than somewhat.他的漠不关心使我很失望。
He feigned indifference to criticism of his work.他假装毫不在意别人批评他的作品。
相关单词：hibernating
hibernating解释：（某些动物）冬眠，蛰伏( hibernate的现在分词 )
hibernating例句：
The hibernating animals reduce movement to far below the ordinary level. 冬眠的动物把活动量大大减少到低于一般的水平。
People find hibernating animals asleep. 人们发现冬眠动物处于休眠状态。
相关单词：unaware
unaware解释：a.不知道的，未意识到的
unaware例句：
They were unaware that war was near. 他们不知道战争即将爆发。
I was unaware of the man's presence. 我没有察觉到那人在场。
相关单词：spoke
spoke解释：n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说
spoke例句：
They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。
相关单词：engraving
engraving解释：n.版画；雕刻（作品）；雕刻艺术；镌版术v.在（硬物）上雕刻（字，画等）( engrave的现在分词 )；将某事物深深印在（记忆或头脑中）
engraving例句：
He collected an old engraving of London Bridge. 他收藏了一张古老的伦敦桥版画。 来自辞典例句
Some writing has the precision of a steel engraving. 有的字体严谨如同钢刻。 来自辞典例句
相关单词：tragic
tragic解释：adj.悲剧的，悲剧性的，悲惨的
tragic例句：
The effect of the pollution on the beaches is absolutely tragic.污染海滩后果可悲。
Charles was a man doomed to tragic issues.查理是个注定不得善终的人。
相关单词：mantle
mantle解释：n.斗篷，覆罩之物，罩子；v.罩住，覆盖，脸红
mantle例句：
The earth had donned her mantle of brightest green.大地披上了苍翠欲滴的绿色斗篷。
The mountain was covered with a mantle of snow.山上覆盖着一层雪。
相关单词：battering
battering解释：n.用坏，损坏v.连续猛击( batter的现在分词 )
battering例句：
The film took a battering from critics in the US. 该影片在美国遭遇到批评家的猛烈抨击。
He kept battering away at the door. 他接连不断地砸门。 来自《简明英汉词典》
相关单词：artillery
artillery解释：n.(军)火炮，大炮；炮兵(部队)
artillery例句：
This is a heavy artillery piece.这是一门重炮。
The artillery has more firepower than the infantry.炮兵火力比步兵大。
相关单词：penetrate
penetrate解释：v.透(渗)入；刺入，刺穿；洞察，了解
penetrate例句：
Western ideas penetrate slowly through the East.西方观念逐渐传入东方。
The sunshine could not penetrate where the trees were thickest.阳光不能透入树木最浓密的地方。
相关单词：fiery
fiery解释：adj.燃烧着的，火红的；暴躁的；激烈的
fiery例句：
She has fiery red hair.她有一头火红的头发。
His fiery speech agitated the crowd.他热情洋溢的讲话激动了群众。
相关单词：exhausted
exhausted解释：adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的
exhausted例句：
It was a long haul home and we arrived exhausted.搬运回家的这段路程特别长，到家时我们已筋疲力尽。
Jenny was exhausted by the hustle of city life.珍妮被城市生活的忙乱弄得筋疲力尽。
相关单词：recoil
recoil解释：vi.退却，退缩，畏缩
recoil例句：
Most people would recoil at the sight of the snake.许多人看见蛇都会向后退缩。
Revenge may recoil upon the person who takes it.报复者常会受到报应。
查看更多关于【边读边学】的文章
