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维系永恒的婚姻与爱情

边读边学  2016-09-22 07:360

"Of all the misconceptions(错误的想法) about love, the most powerful and pervasive(普遍的) is the belief that falling in love is love or at least one of the manifestations(显示,证明) of love." -- M. SCOTT PECK 

 

People who are married or in committed relationships are healthier, wealthier, and happier. So why do more than 60 percent of marriages end in divorce? Why has the national divorce rate climbed more than 200 percent in the last thirty years? And why are fewer people getting married today than ever before?

 

The answers to these questions are plentiful, but the main reason is simple. It"s easy to "fall" in love, but very few people know how to stay in love. Even though staying in love is our "smartest" choice all the way around! Recent studies on marriage prove it's one of the major ingredients in life-long success for men and women. "It lengthens life, substantially boosts physical and emotional health, and raises income over that of single or divorced people or those who live together," reported an article in the New York Times. Marriage has also been found to boost happiness, reduce the degree of depression, and provide protection from sexually transmitted diseases.

 

So let's wake up, make up, and turn this trend around! One of the most startling pieces of evidence that shows people are not in touch with what's really going on in their partnerships is the fact that the majority of people who file for divorce say they didn't think there was a relationship-threatening problem just six months prior to breaking up. Another shocker is that most couples wait six years or more to seek professional help when their relationship is in danger. By the time they do wake up and smell the coffee, it"s often too late.

 

Truly there is no reason to resign(辞职) yourself to a bad relationship? whether you're dating or married. Rather than changing partners and ending up this same predicament(困境) again, you can learn to have a fabulous relationship with the partner you already have! I strongly encourage you to make the relationship you have work, because there is a higher rate of divorce and adultery in second marriages.

 

Getting rid of your partner does not get rid of the problem, because half of the "problem" is yours. You can walk out on your marriage, but you can't run away from yourself, no matter how hard you try! Rather than blaming each other, couples can learn how to work as a team and coach each other through the troubled times and power struggles. To do this, you must create a "safe" relationship so you can express your needs and fears and effectively resolve anger and conflict. More relationships break up because people don"t know how to validate each other (that frustration escalates to become anger) than for any other reason. This is truly a shame, because the skills for "fighting fair" are very easy to master with just a little practice and patience.

 

One of the biggest causes of unresolved anger between people is a lack of understanding. Men and women have different strengths and weaknesses, different ways of expressing ourselves, and different "childhood wounds" that we're trying to heal. While it may seem like we're from different planets we are actually very much alike when it comes to our need and desire for love and intimacy. We only behave differently in our quests for closeness. Stop doing what you think is "fair" or "right" and start doing what works! It's not about "working harder" it's about "working smarter".

相关单词:pervasive

pervasive解释:adj.普遍的;遍布的,(到处)弥漫的;渗透性的

pervasive例句:

It is the most pervasive compound on earth.它是地球上最普遍的化合物。

The adverse health effects of car exhaust are pervasive and difficult to measure.汽车尾气对人类健康所构成的有害影响是普遍的,并且难以估算。

相关单词:manifestations

manifestations解释:n.表示,显示(manifestation的复数形式)

manifestations例句:

These were manifestations of the darker side of his character. 这些是他性格阴暗面的表现。 来自《简明英汉词典》

To be wordly-wise and play safe is one of the manifestations of liberalism. 明哲保身是自由主义的表现之一。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

相关单词:plentiful

plentiful解释:adj.富裕的,丰富的

plentiful例句:

Their family has a plentiful harvest this year.他们家今年又丰收了。

Rainfall is plentiful in the area.这个地区雨量充足。

相关单词:lengthens

lengthens解释:(时间或空间)延长,伸长( lengthen的第三人称单数 )

lengthens例句:

In summer, the daylight hour lengthens. 夏天,白天的时间长。

Summer lengthens (out) into autumn. 夏去秋来。

相关单词:partnerships

partnerships解释:n.伙伴关系( partnership的名词复数 );合伙人身份;合作关系

partnerships例句:

Partnerships suffer another major disadvantage: decision-making is shared. 合伙企业的另一主要缺点是决定要由大家来作。 来自英汉非文学 - 政府文件

It involved selling off limited partnerships. 它涉及到售出有限的合伙权。 来自辞典例句

相关单词:fabulous

fabulous解释:adj.极好的;极为巨大的;寓言中的,传说中的

fabulous例句:

We had a fabulous time at the party.我们在晚会上玩得很痛快。

This is a fabulous sum of money.这是一笔巨款。

相关单词:validate

validate解释:vt.(法律)使有效,使生效

validate例句:

You need an official signature to validate the order.你要有正式的签字,这张汇票才能生效。

In order to validate the agreement,both parties sign it.为使协议有效,双方在上面签了字。

相关单词:frustration

frustration解释:n.挫折,失败,失效,落空

frustration例句:

He had to fight back tears of frustration.他不得不强忍住失意的泪水。

He beat his hands on the steering wheel in frustration.他沮丧地用手打了几下方向盘。

相关单词:escalates

escalates解释:v.(使)逐步升级( escalate的第三人称单数 );(使)逐步扩大;(使)更高;(使)更大

escalates例句:

As the challenge escalates, the need for teamwork elevates. 面临的挑战越大,越需要团队协同合作。 来自互联网

I cannot understand why a minor disagreement escalates into a fist-fight. 我真不明白为什么一点意见不合就变成了拳头相见。 来自互联网

相关单词:intimacy

intimacy解释:n.熟悉,亲密,密切关系,亲昵的言行

intimacy例句:

His claims to an intimacy with the President are somewhat exaggerated.他声称自己与总统关系密切,这有点言过其实。

I wish there were a rule book for intimacy.我希望能有个关于亲密的规则。

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